December is always weird for me.
It’s one of my absolute FAVORITE months of the year, yet it’s also the month that a little part of me dreads.
I LOVE all the holiday magic, tree lightings, Christmas music everywhere, celebrations, and that the whole world seems to be a little more cheerful.
But December is also the month of my birthday and the last month of the year.
It kinda feels like a ticking time bomb.
I’m really big on starting each year writing out goals I plan to achieve, milestones I want to hit that year, and big miracles I’m believing with all my heart for God to make happen.
And as November and December start approaching, amidst all the holiday excitement, I also start to well up with a ton of pressure and worry.
But I’ve decided this year will be different.
It’s like something clicked and my eyes are being opened to how life actually works. This year I’ve noticed no one is actually living the life we think everyone is living.
As often as I tell people, “Don’t compare yourself to others,” and as many times as I’ve seen, “Comparison is the thief of joy,” in cute hand-lettered writing on Instagram, it’s like I’m actually finally getting it.
Maybe you do this too, but I realized I’ve taken bits and pieces from lots of different people’s lives and adopted them all as my own mental timeline.
Like, “That guy from high school got his Masters Degree by 23.”
And, “That girl was financially independent from her parents and had her own place at 22.”
And, “Worship-leading became her full-time thing in her mid-twenties.”
And, “That married couple is my age and already has a kid…”
It’s created this pressure in the back of my mind to make it all happen, but the truth is, none of them are even “making it all happen.”
The guy who got his Masters at 23 moved back home to start paying off student loans.
The girl living on her own at 22 was able to do so because she decided not to go to college and began working full-time.
While that singer started recording albums at 24, that other woman’s ministry exploded in her 50s with her husband.
The married couple with a kid has moved like 4 times this year and then back in with their in-laws to save money.
No one is actually doing EVERYTHING all at once, and yet each of those lives are beautiful! So why have I been holding myself to this impossible standard of living a perfect life?
No matter how perfect you think someone’s life is, or how cool it looks on Instagram, the truth is we’re all just living REAL lives. You can see what’s been captured on the outside, but you can’t see what’s going through their minds on the inside. The people you’re subconsciously comparing yourself to also have worries, areas they feel like they’re falling short in, insecurities they’re trying to cover up, maybe relationship drama, family drama, maybe a painful past they’re running from, or breakthrough they’re desperately waiting for too. We’re all human.
Life is only as fulfilling as you think it is. It’s in our heads.
So I’m working to change the narrative in mine.
Just like I admire things that other people have, there might be parts of my life that make it seem like everything’s perfect. But the truth is, I’m just trying my best to figure things out too. I’m super thankful for opportunities I’ve gotten as a young adult to discover and start living out some of my passions. But the flip side is there are a lot of other areas of my life I feel like I’m “failing” at. Well, until now. I’m 25, graduating this weekend (!!!), college took longer than planned because I invested so much time doing unpaid things I love, I’m currently living with my parents, trying to figure out what career path to take, trying to become financially independent, single, and I have big dreams that I am trying to work hard towards while also trusting God with them.
While I’ve spent so much of the past few years beating myself up for things not turning out like I had expected, I’m learning to say, “Hey, it’s okay! In fact, it’s perfect. I have followed God’s leading, and this is the story He is writing for MY life. And all of His ways are perfect. So who am I to waste time being disappointed when I should be CELEBRATING all that He’s doing?”
I’m doing great.
You’re doing great.
Where you are is right where you’re supposed to be.
Everything you’ve gone through up to this point was meant to grow you and build you into a stronger, more whole person than you would’ve been had your life turned out exactly like you planned.
I’m seeing that life is made up of maybe 10% massively life-altering days and like 90% small, gradual change everyday.
No, the way your life looks today isn’t how it’s supposed to look for the rest of your life, but today is perfect for today. And tomorrow will be perfect for tomorrow. And over time, you’ll see that every day added up to growth and life change.
So life will keep moving.
It won’t be today forever.
So while it is, enjoy it.
P.S. – If you’re waiting on a promise, God is not confined to our calendar year. To Him, the difference between December 31st and January 1st is just another day. So just because you didn’t see your breakthrough this “year” does not mean it isn’t coming. You’re closer to it than you’ve ever been, friend!